Alex, I must say that this has to be one of my favorite articles that you've produced. I really love how you challenged the societal view of what genius is and if it's innate, or if it can be learned. That's my type of stuff right there...I love looking into things with a different light, not to be a rebel, but because I don't believe the truth is always the only truth.

I really don’t even know want to say about the 4 points you shared: wasting no time, self exploration, thinking and developing logic. I could seriously comment on each one of these things for pages and pages.

I think a huge point you brought up (one of man huge points) is the fact the limiting a child’s time in front of a TV goes a long way and ensures they don't waste years in front of pointless activities. Beyond that, the conditioning that the media projects through TV is atrocious. The things that trigger our minds and we don't even know it…the things that desensitize us. I coach child sports and see more and more often the zombie like kids who do nothing but watch Sponge Bob and play video games. 

I let my kids watch some TV, and play some video games, but we monitor them while doing so to ensure that they're watching what we want them to watch.

Very well put together piece of work here. I loved it. 

I completely agree that parents can and should do as much as possible to create an environment that is conducive to developing a love of learning.  I think all children would benefit from being encouraged in the manner you've described above -- they'll live more enriched lives and probably be more successful as a result. 

Will they be geniuses?  Probably not.  Those children who are truly geniuses generally drive the process you described all by themselves; and parents of such kids often find themselves being dragged along on a wild ride, desperately trying to feed their intense passions and intellect. 

I would be careful how you define genius -- being able to answer all the questions because you are well-read and keen is a great thing; but a genius is the one who asks the questions that no one else thought of.  It's hard to teach that.

Note as well that most parents wouldn't aspire to have geniuses for children if they knew all that that entails.  Most parents of the truly gifted (as opposed to the hopefully gifted) know that the negatives of that different neurological wiring can sometimes FAR outweigh the benefits.

Be careful what you wish for, and please don't suggest that parents have the power to turn their children into something they can't.  Parents (and their kids) are under enough pressure these days.

Hi Alex,

I saw your gravatar and title and jumped right over after commenting on JK's post. Me and my wife are craving anything about becoming better parents. We have two toddlers (2 and 4) now, and need all the information and advise we can find.

Looking around your site and discussion so far, I seem to notice that the focus is mainly on intellectual and social development. That's good and all, but I am also interested in physical development of children. Do you have any links to these?

I agree with all the four ways you suggested that we can maximised our children's chances to becoming a genius. We restrict TV time and also computer time actually. We feel that the graphics movement on the computer has adverse effects on their brain and sight development. Basically, we are speeding up their brain process too early. There is a chance of hyperactivities in the future, so we read somewhere. What's your take here?

We like the other three pointers too, especially reading time. Typically what would your recommend for the duration of reading time for children?

Thanks for the great post.

Hi 'Dad',

Thanks for the great reply. It certainly presented another angle of what I was wondering about.

As a sports teacher, I am all for children knowing some level of basic fundamental motor skills. It disturbs me a great deal as I see youg children in school not able to do simple things like jumping, throwing, catching, hitting with rackets, and having general poor hand eye coordination if you know what I am talking about. I am talking about at lest 50% of the kids here. Guess what, these kids have no issues with their academics and computers and all. To me, it is a great imbalance in children personal development. I believe that these skills are acquired young. Every child should be able to catch and throw, and swing a golf club hitting the ball off the tee. Somewhere while growing up, children get influence about the lower importance of these skills. They get parked away and never used again. Running, cycling, swimming are all basic movements, but to me hand eye skills are crucial. Without these, the children lose touch with a very important component of personal development. Just wanted your views on how your parents and schools in your country addresses this.

If the reading you described here will turn our kids to genius, than we are ok I guess. Every night, we have about half an hour to 45mins of bed time reading. My elder girl loves it and if she can, she will make us read the whole night. But usually after 3-4 stories I fall asleep myself. hahaha. But we can see with that she loves reading and that's good. Reading is the root to curiousity and development of the mind. My little boy is still a disturbing prsence while reading. He prefers to disturb the sister. pretend to listen a bit and goose off and try other things he can get his hands on. Just his age I guess. We do not try to force him to sit and listen. I think just hearing our reading is good enough at this age.

My main intention to write to you is to find out more about how you approach parenting. I have two and they are at an age of great needs. Honestly, we are having our hands too full at the moment, so any form of advice will help. Many these are some of the areas your can share more with us and your readers;

1) My wife and I have differences in our parenting style and approach. She is the nurturing and no punishment kind, while I then to enforce more discipline. It is not surprising that they will run to mummy when they do not get their ways. My wife is an advocate in giving them lots of enrichment and all, I tend to be the easy going let them grow up naturally kind of parent. So there are differences. How do we manage that.

2) What's your take on family members constantly arguing at home with children within earshot? I know my children are sensitive and listens to us arguing subconsiously. We should be doing this less, but given the household situation at the moment, we are all a little short fuse. How does all these affect children development scientifical and how can we explain things to them?

3) I think by now, we know the importance of teaching our kids to go fro their dreams and not live the lives we parents want them to live. As children grow from toddlers to kids to younsters, how can we best impart this aspect of going for their dreams without compromising their own development and standards of living?

I probably have lots more questions. But this should be a good start. I do not expect you to answer everything at one go. I am happy just knowing that I have connected with another parents who really care about this tha he wanted to share his information and experiences online. Let's face it, who would spend 15-30min thinking and writing back to strangers unless he truly cares. Thanks for that and I look forward to greater connections with you.

BTW, I tried subscribing but realized its only through RSS at present. I need to let you know that I not a tech gig, so simple things like these, I am totally blurr as well.

I hope to send you a few more pics of my family. Is there a way through email? My site is probably not a good platform since I write about personal development in general.

Cheers and thanks for the time.

Thank you for your thoughtful present of having written this article. The message seems to be given to me specifically. Our son also had a lot to learn from this – though he was the individual that found your site first. Most of us can’t imagine a more superb present than a gift to encourage that you do more.

Great site my friend Alex - I wish you were around when my children were little.....now they are 29 and 27.....love what you have to say and you make some amazing points.

Thanks!

Nancy

So I just read this blog, I have been teach my 5 year old from the day she was born. Last year in prek she tested below average and this year they have her in speech and language class, in public school. My 3 year old son, was taught the same way my daughter was and he just started talking last year. We are what some would call in between poor and middle class I guess you could say, but I still believe in learning. I read and ask questions about the book, I challenge them, we do number games, and all kinds of learning things. I have trouble getting them to pay attenthoughts follow directions now. I admit they do watch tv, but it is always educational movies that they watch, the time varies on the movie they are watching. My mother never took the time with me, I learned every thing on my own. I have very high expectations for my children. I don't know if I am boring them, doing something wrong, or what. It seems as if they have lost interest. Any advice?

I have a high end "bright" child and a "genius".  The most parents will believe the first child is a genius.  The child is top of her class and is above average in school testing.  The second child does barely eats or sleeps.  A true genius child is exhausting, and a constant worry.  My first child will be sucessful regardless of what I do.  The second I am trying to get through a system that will only allow him to skip one grade, but who needs to skip two to three according to school testing.  Trust me you want my first child, it is easier.  I get so angry with parents who want their children to be thought of as "genius" level.  Trust me, you are trying to get them to deal with a system  and world that is not prepared for them.  I resisted the "genius" label until the school system said they  needed additional testing.  Despite that and wonderful teachers, they don't know what to do with child number two.  They are trying and I appreciate that, but I wish we had a school for children like my second child.  My child really thought everyone would be like him/her and was devastated that they were not. :(

How many you are satisfied with whatever you have done to your kids until now? Do you think that your role for making your kid a genius is over? I am going to think about the pointers listed in this post and planning to put the thoughts on my kids. learn more

Great article, I am not sure my daughter is what would be clinically described as gifted, but she is ahead of the curve in her class. I am a single father, and I employ all the methods you listed above. I don't care so much that she is considered gifted, but that she discovers, and develops her skills, and talents to have a enriching, and happy life. I know plenty of gifted people that wasted their gifts, and not very happy. I could go into why that is, but  the biggest factor I see was their environment. In each case they didn't come from homes that cultivated, and supported their gifts. Can you imagine what the world would be like if every child came from a home that was safe, nurturing, loving, and stimulating? It seems almost utopian. Why is it not possible, or is it?

Getting back to my daughter, one thing I see you didn't mention was music. My daughter started playing violin at 5, had to stop because of some placement legal issues with her mom, once those were resolved (took 3 months), She then wanted to play guitar like myself. She has been playing since, and now she is 7.5 year old. Studies show that children who scored the highest on standardized tests played an instrument of some kind. Music is great at aiding in your child's intellectual development. This is due because when you play an instrument you are using almost all areas of your brain. 

My approach is for full development, strive for physical, mental, creative,emotional, social and spiritual development. This leads to a well rounded child. I have been taking my daughter to the park since she was 3-4 years old to play with other children, and taught her to just go up to children, introduce herself, and ask if they would like to play with her. She has been a social butterfly since. 

I had her in gymnastics, she is strong, and agile. I may be putting her in dance classes, or resuming gymnastics. Second grade is a big change for her, because it's a new school system, and I have full placement now. So I am letting her get adjusted, and gradually integrate extracurricular activities, instead of overwhelming her. 

She goes to church every Sunday with her cousins. I am agnostic, but she was raised Baptist before I came into the picture. Long story short, I didn't know I had a daughter until she was 3.5 years old. I established my paternity when she was 4, and have had shared custody/placement up until last July. Now I have full placement. I encourage her to seek her spiritual path. 

I have seen a huge impact with using theses methods. My daughter went from having an IEP (Speech, and Reading) to no longer needing one. She didn't just catch up but she is excelling! I also spend a fair bit of time with her everyday making sure she grasps her homework, not just knowing the answers, but the thinking behind it, especially math. So a parent's involvement is critical. Even though my daughter goes to a good school system, they still use a one way fits all type of teaching to those who don't have an IEP. 

I also work on a work reward system. If she wants to watch some TV, or play on her Kindle, she has to earn it, by reading, cleaning, or doing something with educational merit. Her rewards are rarely mindless entertainment, and usually she watches something with merit. I also don't allow a lot of games on her Kindle. Almost all of them are educational, where a couple are leisure like Temple Run. I am a recovering game addict, so i am very aware how damaging video games can be when not limited (time, and content).

My daughter isn't just gifted, she is brilliant ( A proud father's opinion). I think all kids are gifted, its whether, or not those gifts are discovered, and cultivated. People tell me all the time there is something remarkable about my daughter. She talks like an adult. Her perceptiveness is uncanny. She excels in all her subjects, loves to read, and is highly creative. She is always doing crafts, reading or drawing. Once when she was 4, I saw her playing, and she was pretending to be taking CT scans. A few weeks before I took her to where I worked, and showed her what I did as an engineer. She was using her books as the enclosure for the doll, and using a sheet of paper with a hole cut out for the aperture to collimate the X-Ray. She only saw the CT machine once. That just blew my mind. 

I want to commend you for your article, and hopefully I have shared something a parent will have found useful.

With a majority of today's families functioning with both parents working outside of the home, the need for day care is growing. There are times when the parents or guardians may feel the day care they chose is not suitable for their child and need to change to another day care. Your best course of action is to find another day care location and then prepare the child for the transition. Thanks.
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