Dad's picture
48
Apr
17

Five Steps to a Clean Bum: Teaching Kids How to Wipe

Warning: Graphic content. Viewer Discretion is Advised!

Is your child potty-trained?  If so, do you notice any of the following?

  • Poop stains in the underwear.
  • Pieces of poop in the underwear.
  • Visible poop on the hands or under the finger nails.
  • A sweaty stale poop bouquet fills the room when they take off their pants to change or get in the tub for a bath.
  • You put away a crayon they've just been using and it smells like butt.
  • They go to the toilet, flush, come out smiling but you remember that you forgot to put in a new roll of TP after the old one ran out.
  • When they spill something on the table they try to "clean up" by crumpling paper into a ball and using it to spreading the mess out across the whole table.
  • Mysterious brown body paint up the child's back or down the child's legs.
  • The kingergarden or daycare teacher says the kid can't wipe their own butt.

If you said yes to any of these, then your child doesn't know how to wipe their butt. Read on to find out how to teach a kid in five quick steps.

Step 1: Show them the evidence.

If there are skid marks or bonbons in the undies that's some indesputable evidence. Chances are, if they tried to wipe, there is some strong visual evidence that they can't see. Take out the digital camera and take pictures of what smearing means, as opposed to cleaning.

A failed wipe attempt

Step 2:  Show them how to wipe again.

I'm assuming you showed them the first time. You don't have to actually show them on yourself in a "live" situation because that might just frighten the child into running away screaming -- it would frighten me. Show them make believe style, with your pants on. I don't actually know how any real people wipe because I've never actually watched another grownup do it.  Please comment if I have it wrong!  I do it in three steps:

Step 2.1: Take the right amount of paper, three to four squares, so their fingers don't punch through later.

Step 2.2: FOLD IT into a one square size. Amazing how my kids thought it was a good idea to shove a fist full of crumpled paper into a freshly soiled bum.

Step 2.3: Widen the stance to create good butt access and wipe from bottom to top but ONLY AT THE SWEET SPOT:  Don't keep wiping upwards because wiping turns to smearing pretty quick!  Look at the paper, then toss it.  DO NOT REUSE THE PAPER.

Repeat until the paper comes out clean.  If they wipe three times then ask them to flush before continuing so the toilet doesn't clog.

Step 3: Peanut butter training.

Spread a little peanut butter on a plate and have the kid practice wiping the plate clean using toilet paper without getting any peanut butter on themselves. Those with peanut allergies can substitute chocolate sauce.  I put several dabs on the plate, smear it good with a spoon so it's stuck on, then show them how to wipe so that the plate is clean and the peanut butter is on one side of the toilet paper only.  Just like before, take a couple of pieces, make a square, then wipe but don't spread!  Have the kid try and try again until the plate is clean.  A couple of times I gave my son a PB covered plate and a bunch of paper, then made him wipe the plate clean while we watched a movie.  Great family fun.

Peanut Butter Training

Step 4: Live practice.

Until they get it right, make them call you to watch them wipe each time they poop at home. As you watch, offer real-time corrections, take more pictures, and let them know when they're done.  Make sure they wash their hands real good.

Step 5: Reinforce the importance of NO POOP ANYWHERE BUT IN THE TOILET.

They will stink all day and maybe get sick; let them know that!  Don't be too harsh because you still want them to feel like they can go potty rather than hold it in, but just let them know that they should make it out of the washroom clean.  Handwash extra long, especially if their fingers poked through.  They should also know that they will have to bathe if they spread poop on their bodies.  Unless they like to take baths like my kids, in which case tell them they'll get sprayed down with cold water.
 

Was it easy for your kids to learn how to wipe? How did you teach your children to wipe cleanly?

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Comments

Thank you so much for article

Francis's picture

Thank you so much for article and all those brilliant tips!!! I like the humor... keeps one from going nuts... as for the evidence, you could create a censoring button for REAL PARENTS ONLY... :)

Thanks for taking the time to

Dad's picture

Thanks for taking the time to comment Jessica, I appreciate it!  I also recommend taking a picture of her butt after she's done to show her exactly what she missed.  It's easy for kids to ignore because they can't smell their own stinkiness and they can't see it, so blech.  Let me know how it works out.  I'm heading over to your blog ...

Thanks so much for the

Joy's picture

Thanks so much for the detailed/graphic process. My grandkids are nearly 7, nearly 5, and 3 - have been watching the whole potty training business for years now from a different perspective than being a parent. My kids were potty trained by 2 years of age, and I don't remember (!) how I taught them to wipe their bottom. Thanks again, will pass it on to my kids/grandkids.

I don't remember how I was

Dad's picture

I don't remember how I was taught either.  Nobody could tell me how they trained their kids, so it must be a closely held mystery.  I invented this method because my child SUCKED at wiping his bottom but never believed me when I told him :)  Thank you for the comment!

Thanks for this.  I will have

Steph's picture

Thanks for this.  I will have to try it out.  My kids are 6, 3, and 2.  My oldest never even wipes at all..... It is the nastiest thing ever.  She tells me she does but then I go in there and she "forgot" to flush the toilet but there is no paper in there.  Then my son just refuses to wipe on his own.  He always wants me to do it.

Your oldest is like my oldest

Dad's picture

Your oldest is like my oldest.  He doesn't really care if he stinks or not as long as he's having fun :)

The 3 year old might be a bit young to do a great job.  My 2 year old tries but it's worse if he does right now.  The PB worked for me.  Maybe a little negative reminder to you daughter might help, like "You are pretty smelly my dear, everyone is going to know that you didn't wipe your butt and they're going to ask questions.  It's just easier if you wipe."

I appreciate the comment!

Step 4: Live practice.

A's picture

Step 4: Live practice.

Until they get it right, make them call you to watch them wipe each time they poop at home. As you watch, offer real-time corrections, take more pictures, and let them know when they're done.  Make sure they wash their hands real good.

 

 

This sounds like a recipe for therapy later. If my folks had done this, I'd still be having nightmares.

Hey very nicely said!

devine power's picture

Hey very nicely said!
We must enforce some rules about potty training so that child can follow it.

I like your 1st picture with evidence !
Hahahaa!
So there are many dads like me who has to witness such a picture daily. I have to see it daily as my son come out.

Any ways great work !

 

 

Thank you thank you thank you

Mom on the Edge's picture

Thank you thank you thank you for having this post.  You cannot imagine how grateful I am to know that my son is not the only hot mess out there.  Keep up the good work!!!!

 

thank you, good blog. maybe

saraleigh's picture

thank you, good blog. maybe you can help me furtheri just got custody of a 7 year old from a pretty neglected home. i noticed she was "digging" then i checked and the track staines were thick. she proceded to tell me that she was mever told to wipe and didnt know u had to wach ur butt. i asked if she had ever noticed the poop in her pantys, she said no. i find this very hard to believ she didnt know that the poop ALL OVER her wasnt supposed to be there, and she had never noticed it b4. only the fact her butt always hurt. well it should because for the last, who knows how long, this child HAS NEVER CLEANED HER BUTT! her butt was raw with diaper rash. the funny thing is, i have a 5 month old that she claims that she could change a poopy diaper and watches me do it often, but it never crossed her mine to clean her own body or ask if any 1 else cleaned there butt. how did this happen? now it is foriegn to her and she doesnt think she needs to do it or doesnt want to. so now im wiping my new 7 year olds ass, atleast 3x a day and really really tired of it. what can i do?? is this something that any one has ever heard of?

thank you thank you thank you

Shelle B's picture

thank you thank you thank you thank you.

 

instead of using a plate, I used the area between my thumb and forefinger. squeezed them together in a donut shape, slathered with a little bit of PB and made my daughter practice wiping the "butt" clean 2 times (meaning she did it once in 7 wipes and I re-slathered and she did it again in 5 wipes). she wasn't understanding that 1 wipe didn't cut it, this actually got thru to her and made her realize what she was doing wrong (I hope, we actually just did this 5 mins ago so we'll see what happens in the next 2 days).

 

she just needed the visual - thank you a million times over for the idea!

I wonder what we did before

Dad's picture

I wonder what we did before toilet paper?  I don't often see the neighbourhood dogs walking around with filthy butts.  Anyway, let me know about the hand simulation, maybe it's better than the plate!  My surprise was that my kids didn't know how to wipe, be it off a plate, a contertop or a butt.  They only knew how to smear.

Aside from still not

Shelle B's picture

Aside from still not understanding that when the feeling/urge to poo arises means go asap, my 7 yr old seemed to understand what she was doing wrong (and so did I - she was only wiping once thinking one swipe and you're done). More practice tomorrow with another poo :)

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My kid has autism, and is

Melanie's picture

My kid has autism, and is finally toileted at age 8.5. I've been trying to figure out how to teach him this, since his fine motor skills aren't great. The PB idea is brilliant. Thanks! 

This is great! My son is 7

KMac's picture

This is great! My son is 7 and still can't get himself clean without my help. Gross!! My 4 year old has been wiping himself successfully for a year. I have no idea how he learned. He just wanted to, tried it, and did it. At least one is easy.

He won't go at school, thank

KMac's picture

He won't go at school, thank goodness. Tried it tonight. Folded paper, etc. Even bought Charmin Ultra Strong. He did a pretty good job. However we ended up stopping up the toilet. Ugh! Still trying to unstop it. I guess I need to stick with the cheap thin stuff. Lol! Trying the PB on a plate this afternoon. Oh the joys of parenthood!

None of this will result in a

nahnah's picture

None of this will result in a clean butt. IT amazes me how many people seem to think dry toilet PAPER has some sort of cleansing quality. If you got poop on your arm, would you just wipe it off? Or would you wipe it then WASH IT, because there would still be the remains of poo and therefore a horrible poo smell? To clean your butt, you need to wipe and then either WASH (such as with plenty of toilet paper that has been wet and had soap added to it, a wet sponge - again with some cleansing product such as soap added to it, wet paper towels with a cleansing product such as soap added, etc.), or use a cleansing wipe.

And how do you propose little

syndi's picture

And how do you propose little kids do this at school or anywhere other then home where they are not located in a stall? It is possible - millions of people have success - is it easier with wet - heck yeah!! I provide wet wipes at home for them - but they need to know how to be able to wipe in public places - older kids could learn to go get toliet paper wet first - then go to the stall - but I can't see my 5 year old making it in time or remembering to do it. 

Once your kids are trained to

The Sage's picture

Once your kids are trained to use wet toilet paper, it will become a life style. At first they'll take extra care to poop before they leave the house, for fear that they might end up in a public restroom with now basin next to the toilet seat.

Sooner or later they will realise that they can solve this problem by simply carrying a water bottle with them in their bags when they go to school, or anywhere else. They can then use said water bottle at any time to make sure the toilet paper they use, at school, at restaurants or wherever, is wet and ready to clean.

When we go on holiday, I always make sure thaere's a bottle in the car and when it's time to answer the call of nature, I can confidently stop at any roadside garage, take the water bottle with me, and squirt some water onto my toilet paper.

Thus I am the proud owner of a clean butt 24/7, whereas other people will be covered in unholy filth or keep it bottled up inside their bodies until they find a proper restroom.

You can't put water on toilet

Dad's picture
You can't put water on toilet paper because toilet paper is designed to disintegrate when it gets wet -- so that it doesn't clog the toilet. If you put paper towels, or even worse, wipes in the toilet then you really increase the risk of a clog because those products are designed to be strong even when wet. You are totally right about getting poop on my arm requiring a wash, but I think that if I try to keep the poop to the bum area then the occasional shower should be sufficient in my opinion.

FALSE. You CAN make toilet

The Sage's picture

FALSE. You CAN make toilet paper wet. We're not talking soaking wet, just get a nice wet/moist spot on the paper before you wipe. I've been doing it since I was three years old and I'm 30 years old now. I've never had a problem, ever. it works like a charm. Try it yourself and you will be shaken to your very foundations at how simple and effective it is.

Don't make excuses for walking around with a filthy butt. Don't be lazy. It might feel a little bit strange the frst time you use wet toilet paper, but you'll fall in love with the results in a few days

I can surely try it and

Dad's picture
I can surely try it and likely will, but (butt) I've had some TP experience. For example, you can't clean anything with wet toilet toilet paper. Try it in the bathroom ... using slightly wet toilet paper is useless on, say a toothpaste smear, because the wetness doesn't transfer ... it is held by the TP. If you want wet then you have to soak it so the TP is saturated. But then the TP is quickly destroyed. You always have to follow up with dry TP. Perhaps the structure of your method is to create a saturated spot that squeezes out water, but keep a dry section in reserve for the cleanup. I can see how that might work better than only dry. Probably uses more toilet paper.

You left out one very crucial

The Sage's picture

You left out one very crucial step, without which no butt will ever be clean. I'm actually astonished how uncommon common sense can be sometimes.

You, as well as the child, and everyone else on the planet, needs to make the folds of toilet paper slightly wet before applying it to the butt.

Honestly, have you ever tried washing the dishes, cleaning the floor or anything else for that matter, with just a dry piece of paper?

 

You can't.

 

So why can't people put two and two together and just wetten the toilet paper they use? It makes me lose faith in mankind.

This can be done in two ways:

1.) If you have a wash hand basin next to the toilet, just fold three or four squares of toilet paper, hold the toilet paper under the tap, open the tap to let out a few drops of water until there's a nice round spot of wettness on the toilet paper. Now apply the toilet paper with the wet spot to your butt. Check the toilet paper after every wipe. The water will make the poop come right off, hassle-free. Once you don't find any more brown residue on the toilet paper after a wipe, you can use a dry piece of toilet paper to dry off your butt.

2.) If you do not have a hand wash basin next to your toilet, just fill up a squirt bottle (like a Powerade bottle) with water and leave it in the toilet room. When it's time to wipe your butt, use the squirt bottle to apply a few drops of water to every piece of toilet paper, before you condemn it to your butt. 

Honestly people, it's as simple as that. No need to ever walk around with a filty butt ever again. No need to take a shower everytime after you've evacuated the bowels. No need to ever waste money on a bidet - the single most rediculous device ever invented, surely by and for people who do not have the mental capacity to put two and two together.

 

I hope I've enlightened you all.

awesome! as a mother of two

Anonymous's picture

awesome! as a mother of two boys, my oldest at 4 is starting pre k in 5 months. i need to start teaching him how to wipe his own bum. thanks for the tips! ps* do prek teachers help with wiping bums??

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